Postpartum Support Guide For Partners
Simple, everyday ways partners can support new moms in the first 12 weeks.
Why You Matter ❤️
A rested, supported mom heals faster. A calm partner makes the whole home calmer. Your job now is to protect her rest, reduce her load, and notice red flags early.
5 Golden Rules ✨
Mom first. If it’s between a task and her sleep, choose her sleep.
Own, don’t “help.” Take full charge of some jobs—without reminders.
Be the gatekeeper. Handle visitors, calls, and “advice.”
Be gentle. Her body is healing; moods may swing. Listen more than you talk.
Call the doctor when unsure. Better safe than sorry.
Jobs You Can Fully Own (When It’s Just You Both)
Take these tasks off her plate so she can rest:
Night setup: water bottle, snacks, phone charger, burp cloths, diapers, wipes.
Kitchen & dishes: meals, grocery runs, cleaning.
Laundry & folding: baby clothes, blankets, hers too.
Bottle/pump cleaning & sterilizing (if needed).
Diaper duty (especially at night).
Visitor management: timing, rules, no sick visitors.
Paperwork/admin: hospital files, bills, vaccine schedule, appointments.
Medicine & supplements: track as prescribed.
Night watch: stay alert so she can nap between feeds.
Home basics: garbage out, quick sweep, bathroom wiped.
Food logistics: simple, regular home food; extra water and fiber.
Sibling/pet care (if any).
Night Duty (2 Simple Models) 🌙
A) Shift model
9:30 pm–2:00 am: You stay up—diapers, burping, rocking. Wake her only for feeds.
2:00 am–6:00 am: You sleep. She calls if needed.
B) Team model
Both sleep between feeds.
Each wake-up: you handle diaper + burp + resettle; she feeds.
Tip: Keep lights dim, voices low. Prepare a tray: water, balm, cloths, diapers, wipes.
Feeding Support 🍼
Breastfeeding: watch latch videos together; bring water/snacks; adjust pillows; burp baby.
Pumping: label, clean, store safely, set gentle reminders.
Formula: measure correctly, prep safely, watch baby’s cues.
Always: if there’s pain, fever, redness, or baby isn’t gaining—call the doctor.
Visitors & Boundaries (Scripts You Can Use)
Sometimes you’ll want people over, sometimes you won’t. Communicating early helps.
Short & sweet: “We’re keeping visits to 20 minutes so mom can rest. Thanks for understanding.”
No surprises: “Please text before coming. Doctor wants mom and baby to rest.”
Polite to elders: “Thank you! We’re following the doctor’s plan for now. If it changes, we’ll try your suggestion.”
What to Say (and Not Say)
Say: “You’re doing great.” “I’ve got the chores—please sleep.” “What hurts today?”
Avoid: “Just relax.” “My mom says…” “Why are you crying?” “Back to normal yet?”
Quick Check-Ins (Daily, 60 Seconds)
Body: pain, bleeding, stitches, breasts—any concern?
Mood: low, anxious, angry, numb, or scary thoughts?
Sleep: hours in last 24h? Plan one solid nap.
Food/fluids: 3 meals + snacks + water?
Help: “Tell me one thing I can take off your plate now.”
Safety First 🚨
Call doctor/ER immediately for: heavy bleeding, fever, chest pain, shortness of breath, severe headache/vision changes, one-sided leg swelling, wound infection, or any thoughts of self-harm.
Safe sleep: baby on the back, on a flat, firm surface, with no pillows or blankets.
Minimal Postpartum Care Kit (Partner-Packed)
Water bottle with straw
high-protein snacks
soft night light
extra charger, nipple balm
8 burp cloths
diapers
wipes
diaper cream
peri bottle
laundry bags
hand soap refills
doctor-prescribed meds
For Indian Families (Real-Life Tweaks)
Keep food simple: dal, rice/roti, sabzi, curd, fruit, nuts. Ajwain-jeera water if she likes.
Use the washing machine guilt-free; diapers are fine if changed often.
When elders share advice, thank them and follow the doctor’s plan. You can say:
“Doctor ne yeh plan diya hai—pehle isko follow karte hain.”
Partner Promise (Print & Sign)
“I will protect your rest, own the chores, keep advice gentle, and act fast if something feels wrong. We’re a team.”
